Highly-sensitive person (HSP) is a term originally coined by Dr. Elaine Aron, and it describes individuals who experience emotions strongly, feel deeply for others, and have complex inner lives. HSPs are highly attuned to what’s going on both inside themselves and in world around them. If you are a highly-sensitive person, you are likely somewhat aware. Sensitive people tend to notice from a young age that they feel more deeply than those around them. Being highly sensitive comes with many strengths, but unfortunately, it is a trait that is often mislabeled and misunderstood.
Is sensitivity normal?
The short answer is: yes. Being sensitive is completely normal. In fact, about 20-30% of the population falls into the category of highly-sensitive. Because this is a minority, however, sensitive people are often mislabeled as “shy,” “too sensitive,” or “different.” This mislabeling and invalidation can cause HSPs to struggle with feelings of loneliness, disconnection, and low self-esteem. It is important to note that being highly sensitive in itself is not a problem or a mental health diagnosis. Rather, the suffering that results from being sensitive is often due to judgment from others and misunderstanding of one’s own emotional processing.
What are some strengths of being sensitive?
Due to the invalidation HSPs can receive from others, it is very important that we build upon the strengths that sensitivity can bring to us. I often describe sensitivity as a superpower that we can use to either help us or hurt us. When we learn how to understand and harness our sensitivity, it can help us to connect more deeply with ourselves, others, and the world around us. Some strengths that being a sensitive person might bring you include:
- Deeply thoughtful with a rich inner life.
- Highly empathetic and understanding of others.
- A greater appreciation for the beauty in works of art or nature.
- Positive emotions (like joy, gratitude, or love) can be experienced deeply.
- Highly attuned to subtleties and nuance.
- A high degree of creativity and creative thinking.
- More in touch with feelings and greater ability to process emotions.
- The capacity to develop deep connections with others and with animals.
What are some of the potential downsides of being sensitive?
Although being a sensitive person has many strengths, it can also be a challenging quality to fully own and understand. It takes time and self-discovery to learn how to manage and use our sensitivity. Further, when we judge or minimize ourselves, we can begin to feel alone, avoid situations, and feel depressed and anxious. Some hardships of being sensitive include:
- Easily overwhelmed.
- Avoidance of situations that provoke negative emotions.
- Negative emotions can feel more intense.
- Often overlook their own needs.
- Low self-esteem or self-worth.
- Feeling judged or lonely.
- Not knowing how to manage emotion.
How can I start to own my sensitivity?
As an HSP, you have unique qualities and needs. If we can stop judging ourselves and really listen to our emotions, we can use our sensitivity as a superpower rather than a hindrance. The following steps can help you own your sensitivity and use it as a strength:
- Acknowledge that your sensitivity is a part of your personality, not a weakness. Since it’s highly likely that your sensitivity has been mislabeled or misjudged, try to start seeing your sensitivity as just a part of who you are rather than something wrong or bad.
- Take time to feel and process your emotions. It’s likely that you feel emotions more strongly than others. While it may be tempting to numb or ignore these feelings, it is important you take the time to check in with yourself and process them.
- Take care of yourself. You may find yourself more easily exhausted or overwhelmed than others around you. Listen to what you need, and take care of yourself when you need to. It’s okay if your needs are different than others.
- Pay attention to your strengths. Begin to identify how your sensitivity helps you connect with yourself, others, and the world around you. If you have seen your sensitivity as a weakness in the past, try to balance that out by noticing the ways it makes you a more unique, whole person.
- Set clear boundaries. Just as you feel your own emotions more strongly, you probably take on the emotions of others more intensely as well. Pay attention to whose emotions you are absorbing. Set boundaries that help you to separate your own emotions from others’.
- Seek support. There will be people who do not understand or honor your sensitive nature, but there are also plenty of like-minded people who get it. As a sensitive person, you are highly attuned to others. Use this skill to connect with people who lift you up rather than judge or belittle you.
Conclusion
Sensitivity is a powerful quality. It means that you are capable of deep thought and emotional connection, but it also comes with some challenges. If you are struggling with your sensitivity or how others perceive it, you might also consider reaching out to a therapist who specializes and understands this unique quality. Learning to honor and use your sensitivity as your superpower can transform how you see yourself and how you experience connection with others.